Page Title

A pseudo-Iconoclastic (Soldiers’ Home) publication

For, by and of Denizens of the Armed Forces Retirement Home.

Publisher: nameless resident

Contributors: geniuses-in-residence; Reporters: jokers at large

MONTROUS SCAM

Beware Retirees!

The “Society of Ghouls for Justice” has applied for a permit to haunt the Armed Forces Retirement Home. Although they profess to be a legitimate non-profit charitable foundation, a recent investigation has uncovered a heinous scheme to magically turn the AFRH back into the “Soldiers’ Home”! Should this occur, most of our treasured executives would evaporate……………….

We suggest that you do a little heavy praying, burn candles under the smoke alarm and carry a big stake.

2010 USHERS IN THE AFRH

NURSING HOME!

(Along with war, global warming and a major depression)

The CRS (Mr. Dickerson) told us that although there could be changes, these are the plans:

(1) Gulfport will be ready July, 2010. G. residents and everyone else who signed up will go there! (Gulfport will have assisted living– and ‘a form’ of long term care.)

(2) *Admissions will be stopped

(3) Remaining Scott residents will move to the Sheridan.

(4) Scott will be reconstructed into LTC, AL and Dementia to replace King Health Center at LaGarde. Rooms will be 450 sq. ft.

(5) By 2012 it should be ready to accept residents from King Health Center, so the La Garde building can be turned over to the developers.

(6) * Present capacity of about 1350 residents will be downsized to 750 - 800.

He added something about how we’re all going to love it.

(The COO’s ‘business plan’ will end 157 years of “Soldiers’ Home” history as a Continuing Care Retirement Home.)

THE

Autumn 2007

Vol. 2, Issue 4

WHEN WALTER REED CLOSES

The RAC is in charge of arranging with outside hospitals (Washington, Bethesda, & Providence) to serve our residents when Walter Reed closes. Plans are being proffered and there are indications that a hospital may serve us on our premises.

(1) We hope that prescriptions will still be available to us from Walter Reed or Bethesda.

(2) Would it be feasible to contract a hospital to take over all of our medical facilities on this compound?

	I’m going to turn into the Secretary of Defense and draft Mr. Cox into the Infantry... .
	I’m going to boil and bubble a few contractors and chill a few spines for the Halloween cookout...
	I’m going to be a lab technician in the clinic and curdle a little blood...
	I’m going to be the guest specter at the Suicide Prevention Classes...
	I’m going to haunt the maroon and brown lobby to give it a little class...

The “Commiserator” is not affiliated or in competition with any other publication.

It’s an original. It costs 74 cent a copy to print. Thanks for helping to publish and distribute it..

LETTERS TO THE EDITOR

(edited for length)

Subject: Business Hours of Health Facilities

Hi, The VA has just extended their hours for health care, noting that health issues might occur at any hour.

Why are AFRH Health Care Hours just normal business hours, from Monday thru Friday and closed to health on Saturday and Sunday...with an hour off for lunch and closed at 4PM? Tom Moore.

P.S. :keep up the good work.

Response: A Clinic’ nurse is on duty from 4 pm till midnight. The clinic opens at 7am. For medical help in your room after midnight (or any time) , we are told to call Security: 3111– They’ll seek a nurse or call 911.

(“That’s the way they do it in the private sector”.)

Subject: Thanks for efforts

Hello, I am Earl, (Jolly Green Giant), resident of AFRH.

Thanks for keeping us aware of happenings at Washington. Hopefully, your paper will keep the fire burning in the right places.

Can I help with paper, printing software or few bucks? I think the Comminserator is helpful at the Home and lets management know that we are still active participants in society. "The pen is mightier than the sword".

Response: Thanks. We don’t have room for your whole letter, but be assured that Security is alive and functioning.

.Subject: Thanks for adding me to your mailing list

Your “Commiserator was an absolute hoot! The Horrorscope was my favorite! I also heard your call to challenge privatization of the AFRH...Thanks for your insight and the good laugh that accompanied it. Very tastefully done. Ruth

Response: Thanks– The grimmer it is, the funnier it gets.

Subject: What a refreshing read.

What with all the sad news these days, it’s a real pleasure to read about some of it with a smile; and still, your message came across loud and clear. Way to go!!! Chuck

Keep communicating!

COVER YOUR DERRIERE

“Suicide Prevention Classes and discussions,” after the fact, suggest that the residents seek and identify other residents who may be at risk. When a buddy commits suicide, we’re hurt and helpless. These classes should ask the administrators, doctors, psychiatrists and social workers what they have been doing wrong, and how they can improve the environment and quality of on-site care in a continuing care Retirement Home to avoid, as much as possible, the tragedy of suicide. Otherwise, the discussion tends to lay some responsibility on the residents and make the pros look blameless. It appears to be a classic public affairs exercise in CYA

Take a unique vacation- check out our website sponsor at: http://elkhorninnwv.com

Then, click on their link to “the Commiserator”…

or type ‘the commiserator’ into your browser

Get All 4 issues on the internet!

I DIDN’T KNOW THAT!

Some nice evening, mosey out the door of the Sheridan building, with the name, Lady Sheridan over it. Walk six of seven paces, make a right face and look between our trees, across the street. You should see a small building, a kind of mausoleum, really, on the grounds of the Soldiers National Cemetery. Now– walk over there (being careful not to get run over), and look around. How many other buildings do you see housing deceased folks on the grounds? None, you say! That’s because all the rest are buried under regular grave markers. Now, why is that important? Well, in case your interest lingers, read the inscriptions and learn that John Alexander Logan is buried there. And who is he? None other than the man given credit for the holiday called “Memorial Day.”

YOU DON’T SAY!

Question: What is the, Bucktail Brigade?

Answer: It was the name given to the members of the One Hundred Fiftieth Regiment- Pennsylvania Volunteers, who guarded President Lincoln whenever he stayed at the Anderson Cottage on the grounds of the Soldiers Home.

Byron Mathis

DON’T WAIT FOR HALLOWEEN

Dress up silly, do something ridiculous, go someplace you’ve never been, pinch somebody you don’t like, call someone you haven’t spoken to for years, eat something that’s not good for you and laugh!!!

It’s good for your digestion!

CONGRESS HAS THE POWER TO MAINTAIN THE HISTORICAL INTEGRITY OF “THE SOLDIERS’ HOME”, NOW RENAMED “THE ARMED FORCES RETIREMENT HOME.”. Everyone knows of ‘the Soldiers’ Home- Many people never heard of the “Armed Forces Retirement Home”. We are one and the same!

Point #1: Under the present business plan, our Home is losing its Military identity and

historical purpose as a

retirement Home.

Solution: Vote to pass

Senator Lott’s amendment

to maintain the AFRH as a

military facility under the

DoD.

Point #2: It was proven

that a Civilian Nursing

Home Director knows

‘diddly squat’ about