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A pseudo-Iconoclastic publication For. By and Of Denizens of the AFRH Publisher: Nameless Resident, Editors: Geniuses in residence; Reporters: Jokers at large E-MAIL: Commiserator1@verizon.net (communicate)
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Vol. 2 Issue 3 Sept. ,’07 |
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WORK IN PROGRESS # 1
The “Law-Suit” decision is being appealed. Generally, it states: ‘the practices at the Home do not satisfy overall statutory requirements to provide high quality medical and dental care.” |
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Does “decoration” money come out of different pockets than “maintenance and repair” money?
Why do superficial interior decorations have priority over plumbing and building repairs? (a darling ‘canteen’ cage, a deep maroon and brown {yuk} ground floor lobby with new furniture and TV, and a complete redo of the Scott lobby decor.)
Could some of those $millions$ have fixed the elevators, or the alarm system- or the beverage machines and air-conditioning at the golf shack– or the plumbing– or new fixtures/hardware so we won’t have cold showers all winter AGAIN?
Who’s counting?
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WORK IN PROGRESS # 2
Our COO prefers the words: “not for profit” to the word “privatized”. He informed the “P. Study Group” that the Secretary of Defense wishes to postpone any ‘not for profit’ action regarding the AFRH until the next administration is in place. They’re too busy privatizing everything else that isn’t nailed down.
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Do you take this inheritance to be your lawful, wedded… |
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AT THE HOME FOR HEROES In the Dining Emporium, Hero # 1 approached Hero # 2 in an unseemly manner. H.# 2 was not receptive. H..# 1 challenged H..# 2, underestimating H..# 2’s physical stamina and aversion to challenge. H.# 2 decked H. # 1. Hero # 1 is elsewhere Will there be a sequel? |
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THE MASTER PLAN IS BEING FINALIZED
Layouts are in place for buildings in all zones. BUT, building heights will be lower because historical views must be preserved! Only the 77 acre zone will be developed within the next couple of years. If it brings in a zillion dollars, maybe the rest won’t be leased. We should live so long! |
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Type ‘the commiserator’ in your browser! |
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RETURN OF THE NATIVE
Gigi is coming back to the fold. |
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Ask Mommy
Q: What’s in that large, full bag that the chubby employee carries out of the mess hall every evening between 6:30 and 7 pm?
(Asked by the RAC Chairman)
R: Mommy doesn’t know everything! (Ask Daddy.) |
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Philosophy We don’t pay to live here because the Home is great
The Home is great because we paid to live here. |
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Why we need Military Leadership
Our COO states that he knows how important our Military HERITAGE is; so he will periodically invite some active duty units to visit with us.
Our Military Heritage is our identity! Our Military CULTURE was our historical environment and interactions with the Military personnel of our Home that has been replaced by civilian Nursing administrators, contract employees and a lower standard, non-military environment. The obliteration of our culture– our way of life– denigrates our heritage.
A seasoned Military Director is part of our heritage– to restore our Military culture. Managing our complex system can be more successful with enduring, high quality Military standards for all contractors to meet.
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RESIDENT ART GALLERY |
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Warren Helm P. Goldsworthy Mike Martinez |
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Wed. 08/29/07, 1900, Sheridan lobby:
Al G. is telling me that when he went to LaGarde to feed Jo B, she couldn’t breathe; when he told the nurse the oxygen was turned off, she blamed it on the patient (who couldn’t reach it)- and how he heard a nurse say not to change a guy’s underwear because he was dying anyway. Then they made out Jo B’s death certificate wrong.. Michaels was moved to Scott 3 A.L. without his knowledge, clothes, toiletries, etc., and was locked out of his Sher. Room, and no one bothered to move his belongings for days. At least in those cases a resident was around to raise a fuss and alleviate suffering..
An ambulance drives up, 2 EMTs wheel in Frank Cook strapped on a gurney. We say “ you’re bringing him to the wrong place.” They shrug and take him to his 2nd floor room. A few minutes later, one comes back-“Who’s in charge?” “No one,” we say, “this is independent living. And it’s after 1600. Call Security.” I take him to a phone. He calls- they never show. I go up and try to soothe Frank in the hallway. He is still strapped in at a bad angle; his back hurts; he is cold; his arm bandages and the patch on his chest look loose; he is almost in tears because the EMTs keep blaming everyone else because they are here instead of somewhere else. I send one to the clinic. After 15 minutes, he returns with orders to take Frank to LaGarde. I leave- wondering what happens to other residents in trouble if a friend isn’t passing by.
Well that’s what happens when you suddenly turn a retirement Home into a nursing home and eliminate essential services and responsible personnel. Even with the Law Suit, the IG, the GAO, JCAHO and the press, we see neglect increasing in all areas. The COO gets the glowing reports– but the reports don’t mention that the right hand doesn’t know what the left hand is doing because they’ve both been amputated. |
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LEADERS of the AFRH
Our recent interim Director, Mr. Rouse (Chief of Campus Ops), was much appreciated for his pleasant demeanor and “tell it like it is” presentations at the Town Hall meetings.
“Like it is” is pretty much the way it was.
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Your next operation should go “ZIP-ZIP!” |
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SCIENCE
Considering that evolution appears to favor survival of the fittest, the Himalayan Inst. for the Advancement of Human Evolution has applied stem cell research to enhance the capacities of the Human female. They have broadcast a video showing the first woman with 4 arms and hands.
The lady is carrying a large, writhing child in inner arms 2 and 3, pushing a shopping cart with arm 1 and dumping food items with arm 4. Shrieking child grabs Ketchup bottle, ammonia and condoms in 3 of 4 hands and jabs lady’s eye with the other. Lady’s arm 4 sweeps items from child’s grip, hand 3 pinches child, hand 4 wipes child’s tears and blood from her own eye…Arm 1 digs for money from shoulder bag; arm 4 puts items on counter and pays. Arm 1 carries bag to bus stop and digs for bus fare. Hand 2 closes diaper pin that is impaling agonized child, while hand 3 adjusts damp diaper and soothes baby’s wound. Arm 4 lays free newspaper on stand, digs for pen and works crossword puzzle while arms 2 & 3 position child on counter to keep wind from blowing paper away. Arm 4 holds hand rail to enter bus while she lugs 50 pounds of baby and food in arms 2, 3 and 1 respectively. Arm 1 switches bag to arm 4, pays, and grips standing man’s belt to keep from falling during trip. Arms 2 & 3 alternately suppress and mollify dripping child. At home, arms 2 & 3 change hysterical child’s diaper; arm 4 pours a stiff shot and belts it while arm 1 slaps wretched child silly. Hands 2 & 3 cover lady’s ears while arms 1 & 4 hug pillow as she passes out in deserved bliss.
Women and their female offspring are waiting in line outside the Himalayan Institute... |
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H.I.A.H.E. |
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The “Commiserator” is not affiliated or in competition with any other publication. It’s a spontaneous original. Thanks for helping to publish and distribute it.. |
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OH NO!!!
Hot from elevator # 1 Al Gutshaw is getting married to Jeanette! Within 60 days– and they will live in Boston!
Is it for real this time? I don’t think we can handle it! |
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Click to go to previous issues of The Commiserator on line: http://www.elkhorninnwv.com/TheCommiserator1.html April 2007 http://www.elkhorninnwv.com/TheCommiserator2.html May-June 2007
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